Naughty

A smile. A laugh. A glance across the table. An "excuse me, Miss" and a slither down beside me. There's so many people in this room, I know, but I can only see, smell, hear, feel, taste you. Just you. Oh Gosh. It's only the first course of the meal. Five to go. Gosh, I want you. How. The fuck. Are we going to make it through all this food? Don't fill yourself up too much, there's going to be something sweeter at home.

A hand on my leg. I love those hands. Those fingers. I feel the goosebumps, my heart stops, my voices catches. Oh, people are actually speaking to us. We're both acting oblivious. I feel your hand sliding its way up. "Yes yes, still single, yes, well right... guy hasn't come al...ong yet". I smile. I beam. I blush. You love it when I blush. How do they not know? I wish you were mine. I fold my legs. I shut you out. Not here. Not now.

You're chatting away now to your friend. He introduces you to his friend. She's pretty. She has bright eyes, glittering in the candlelight. There's a lump in my throat, but yesterday it was your lump in my throat. I'm going to be sick. I... your hand's on my leg again. Yet you're flirting away with her. This isn't fair. I blush harder, there's red of angry melded into my cheeks. Two can play this game... Your twisted little ga...me.

Oops, did I just spill water all over that immaculate crotch? Whoops, deary me, what am I like? Let me dry that up for you. We evacuate ourselves. We go out for a cigarette. You complain about the cold hitting the water around your crotch. It cannot be as cold as your heart, though, can it? I watch the cigarette smoke curl out of your mouth, gorgeous mouth, lucky cigarette. You're wearing your tux, the one I helped you pick out a few months ago. You smirk down at me, say "lets get out of here" then we are out of there, we are running away from that horrible several course meal.

We're in the taxi now, you're grinning. You catch me looking at you. You stop grinning. You lean over, kiss me, kiss me deep, slow, fast, cold, hot, all at once. I kiss back, I don't stop. I'm not holding back. I want those lips, I want your soul against my soul. Taxi ride is taking too long. How much fu...rther? Oh no don't grab my dress th...ere. But do. I'm melting in your hands. You feel it, I feel it. You know it, you love it, you love my moaning and gasping and my wanting more.

Get home. Throw me on the bed. Won't be needing those panties, no. Stuff them in my mouth we're ready to go. Tie my hands up, position with my bottom up. You love it that way, you love me every way. Pull my hair. Apologise for the flirting with the other girl. She won't compare to your slut, you say. Nothing compares to me. Nothing, master, nothing. You explain, you say its too complicated right now, and you can't stay with me, you can't be with me, you can't commit to me, but you won't get jealous if someone else says with me, is with me, commits to me, but we both know someone else won't suffice. I don't say it, I can't say anything with my little panties in my little mouth, but my eyes say it.

There's a glimmer in your eye, you stop talking. You take off your clothes. You look perfect. Body sculptured by the gods. Do you know what is like being in love with someone who only loves you when you're being humiliated? Do you love me back perhaps? Do you love me without the tying and the gagging? Do you master, do you?

I love that touch, touch me more, touch me harder, throw my clothes on the floor. I hear you grunt. I know you crave. I know you more, than you think I do. I know you're hurting. I know you care. I know you'd be with me, I know I'm your air. I'm your guilty pleasure, the one you try not to call, the one you avoid more than anyone, anyone at all. I know at dinner you hated the company, but I know you love mine and now I'm here in your arms I know it'll just be fine.

You say to call you daddy, I prefer master. I say it a few times over, then I say for you to go faster. It felt weird at first, not calling you by your name, but I understand it's better this way, trust issues are to blame. Only do it from behind, it's my favourite place, only because, I can't see your face. No... no that's not an insult, please, sir, I just prefer it when I'm totally numb. I hate that you're not mine, yet I'm under the thumb. You take the panties out of my mouth, say you prefer my moans, pull my hair up right to your face, kiss my neck, spank my bum, tell me we're both a disgrace. I laugh. It's funny. We're funny, you and I. This twisted little fucking game.

Collapse in your arms, you collapse on my breast. It's not over now, its not over yet. Pick me up by my thighs, pin me up the wall, look into my eyes... not even only my eyes, you're looking at everything, my soul's exposed, right there, I can see the reflection in your perfect pupils. I wriggle and writhe, makes you thrust more, I can't take it much more. I look at you, that face, oh gosh you are so cute. Even when you're dominating me, even when you humiliate me, do you know how much I adore that look? That look of concentration, the look of pure awe. You look at me like I was the first woman on earth, the first one at all. I cannot help but blush and write even more under your gaze. This time I hope you stay for days. Once it was a week, another time a mere hour. I could stay here with you, forever and ever.

Smear it all over me. I love that too. Feels like I'm your property. I belong to you. Fall asleep, me after you, I prefer to see you, safe and sound, in my breasts, which are red from being bound. Watch your eyelashes, how they flutter, play with your hair, hear you mutter.

Fall asleep, next to you. Wake up, next to somebody else.

Your eyes are black. Your nose is bleeding. Your nails have ashes underneath. Your phone bleeps with messages sorry mate it's been a year, need any help giz us a call, here for you friend, I know you loved that girl. What girl? What? You're screaming and thrashing a broken mirror, you broke that last week don't you remember? See a picture of us, smash it up... Kick the door down, swear and cuss. What did I do? But you don't hear, you're on a rampage now, your mindset unclear. Curse and swear, say shit she's gone, but I'm here I'm here, I'm screaming for you now. Stand infront of your vexed state. Another nightmare about her, another nightmare about you, why do you haunt me, is it out of hate? Not even a nightmare, just a dream, about you. You're angry. Why? Darling what's the matter? I loved her, you say, I loved her and she never knew, maybe she did, maybe she does. Do you love me? Do I love you? Slave, slut are you there? Do you hear your master? You walk toward me, you look right at me, yes I'm here, I'm here I say. You walk right through me.

Master, master, did your love kill me? Did it kill us both? Who is the dead one out of you and I? Your slut till the end, a slave to your testosterone. You killed me, master, I should've known. Killed me one night, you got jealous didn't you, sir? Saw me talking to another man, one that'd treat me better. You knew you loved me, you knew you cared, you just knew you were too selfish to ever really be there. Smashed his face in, took a bottle to mine. No one knows it was you, do they "daddy"? Which is why I haunt your mind. There was no me at the table. No one knows what happened to that glass. The taxi driver deemed you crazy. You didn't actually slap my ass. Slut till the end, slave to your testosterone, but your baby, I'll be forever more, until you meet me here. Never again could you fornicate, never again could you care, because your baby is gone and so is your mind. I re-enacted your favourite nightmare.