Autumn

Red, orange, red, green, yellow. Autumn has embraced us once again. Her auburn smile greets us elegantly, her exquisite taste for unpredicted rain hits us. The sudden coldness might make you ill or encompass you in fatigue, but do you care? The sun is sinking. Good bye sun, good bye old friend. Shall we ever meet again? Summer seems so far away but I know you are worth the wait. Until then I shall settle for Autumn and her ginger hair. I miss my sun, I miss the warmth, I miss the familiarity of his shine. Why did my sun go? Why must it always leave? Why must I get left in a new, cold world? I cannot shake Autumn, I cannot get the word off my lips, she has come and you have gone. Her foliage temperamental, her temperature tangible, how will I last in this inconsistency alone? You always seem to fade away when it gets a bit colder, when the colours seem to change, you change with the seasons, but you're omnipresent to me. Always high above me in that sky, in the mind, my mind, the dirty, gloomy sky of my mind. 

What am I to do when the sun stops shining completely? When you're gone forever? I lose my breath when you're hidden behind a cloud for a day or two. Where do you go? Do you enjoy the cloud's company more so than mine? One day will you vanish forever? You tease me, when you're high in the sky, you blind me, you stun me, yet you do not warm me, you don't play fair. 

I could never set on you, you know. I could never blind you or hide from you. Tell me how can my sun enjoy the chase so much?  Why must I suffer the Cold so much? 

Then, when I don't suffer the Cold, when I enjoy the Cold, when I embrace him like he embraces me, why do you get angry? Why does envy fill your heart? You chose to hide behind that cloud, you chose to stop warming me. I'm alone, I must surrender myself to Cold. You began to melt my heart and after you left it froze right back up again. You'll be back again soon to repeat the process, the saddest thing is that I'll enjoy it.

Oh Autumn, how I hate to love thee. I feel fear when I hear the sneers and jeers of the Trees, how they hound me, how they follow me. It can be awfully more daunting in your dark Autumn, to be left alone in streets full of Trees. Do you know how much they dislike girls like me? Yet do you know how little they know about girls like me? Tell me, when will your wrath make the trees die? Will they ever die? Will the voices ever stop? Autumn, I need you to help me, but you just do not listen, I cry out to you, I hold out my hand, but you reject, you let the Trees continue. They will follow me to my death, won't they? What if the Trees push me to it, Autumn? Will my sun punish them? Will you? Will the Cold?

It is dark, Autumn. Too dark to see. I cannot see what is happening right in front of me. I cannot make out all the shapes and shadows, until they are close enough to pass me by. Why do you taunt me Autumn? Why do I love it so much? I enjoyed the sun's games too much, and now I enjoy yours too. Oh, is this masochist? Am I wrong for liking this? 

The sun, I need my sun back, please come back, hoist me to safety, I cannot bear this golden blanket anymore. Do you even hear my pleading? Do you follow me in the days? Are you looking at me? Do you suffer in silence after seeing what you did to me?

It is dark and I need my sun back. I am hurt and I miss it. I miss the sun, the Cold cannot suffice anymore. I need the sun. I need you. Do you hear my pleas? Do you see my wounds? Can you feel the heat of the hell I'm in?

Come back; come back.